Only A Mother Could Love

If there's one woman I totally admire the most, that would be my Mama. We all look up to our mothers. They are our first teacher. My mom taught me everything I need to know about life and how to live it. Maybe when I was still young, I did not appreciate the things she was teaching me, like how to clean the house, wash the dishes, cook our food, wash my own clothes. But if she had not taught me those things, I would not know how to be a wife.
My mom is just a simple woman with simple dreams. I once asked her what she really wants in life, and she answered that she just wants our family to be complete and happy. Lately I realized, I think Mama was deprived of her single life. Like going to gimiks with friends, buying stuffs she wanted for herself, etc. because she had to prioritize the things I needed most when she had me at a very young age. I could not imagine how hard was it for her to be a young mother at that time, but she managed to responsibly nurture us. She has sacrificed her happiness for us. As long as we are happy, she is happy. She never gets tired of taking care of us, making sure we have something to eat when it's meal time. And not only us, she also never gets tired of taking care of Grandma and Tatay and Isha and Popoy. Simply put, she never gets tired. Cleaning the house, doing the laundry, going to the market - like all in one day. Then when I come looking for her, there she is flat on the bed - asleep. =)
Mama has always been patient. I recall when Papa was just brought home after a long stay at the hospital due to aneurysm, he was irritable at that time and grumpy. She bursts out what she feels to me, but still she was still there taking care of Papa. Sometimes she tells me she feels like quitting, but she does not.She goes on. She never gives up. She may just be quiet but she fights when it is needed. And I think I got that trait from her.
And after all the trials our family has been through, she remained strong for us all. For she does not want a broken family like what she had. Family to her is her only treasure. Family is love.

Sa walang sawang pag-aaruga..
Labis na ninanais ang iyong kalinga..
Kalinga na galing sa isang mapagmahal na Ina.
Sa walang kapagurang pag-aalaga
Sa walang katumbas na init ng iyong yakap.
Hanap-hanap ko ito hanggang sa pagtulog.
Ngayon at magpakailanman,
Tanging ikaw lang
Ang makapagbigay ng lubos na pag-ibig
Na nanggagaling sa isang huwarang Ina.
Salamat, Ma..

Dear Diary - Pilot post

January 24, 2011
Monday
8:48am (Phil)
9:38am (JPN)

Dear Bloggy,

im havin coffee on this very very cold day.. just got back from Pinas last thursday. i got too emotional, because it is always hard to leave home. Papa got teary-eyed upon knowing i was to leave soon. he forgot siguro na 1 month lang kami stay, he thought we would stay 3 months. i cried until i rode the plane. i never wanted to leave where i loved everything i was doing; baking, taking care of isha, playing with baby Popoy, chitchats with my folks, managing ZheZtah, bonding with friends and family. At home, I am at peace. I have nothing to think about as long as i am with my hubby, and my family. i am so much attached to my family.

we were brought up this way. Christmas was a bit lonely for us. Even though there was an additional 2 sa family, minus 1 temporarily. but i have always believed that everything has a purpose. I believe that God has a reason for every thing that is happening with our lives. I am not much of a pray-the-rosary, Angelus, and 3-0'clock prayer, never- miss -mass- on a sunday- type of Catholic, but my faith in Him is very much intact. I pray. I thank. I apologize. I ask.
I always ask God to make my parents happy and rid them of the emotional burden we are in right now. I just want them to be happy. I want them to be worry-free. I know it's a bit hard, but I just have to keep praying. Because I know He does not give us burdens we could not carry. Tiis lang. Carry lang.

Family matter..

I may have not blogged for a while. When I was younger, I used my negative emotions to write poems and essays as an outlet. To let go of it thru writing. But now it is different. Now, I have become more mature when dealing with my emotions, and I'd rather keep it to myself and pray.

Someone asked me what my weakness was and it took me sometime to think deeply what it is. It is my family. I grew up having my parents and brothers always around me. We were taught that the most important thing is having a complete family, my Mom and Dad never wanted a broken family. They did all means just to keep us binded despite the storms that went our way.

A family can never be completely happy. We had to go through different trials to test our faith and love for one another. Although we are not used to show our feelings, we know how much we love each other, how we care for one another. One's problem is everyone's problem.

I never asked for anything fancy from God, my simple wish is that we will all grow old together as a happy family. I want my parents to see their grandchildren get married and have kids. I want them to always be there for us to guide us in the decisions we make. I just want my parents to live peacefully, now that we their kids are all grown up. But it seems so impossible right now. Sometimes, I ask God why we have to go through another trial. It never seem to end. But then, we just have to trust in Him, that He will always be there, coz He never gives us problems that we could not carry. For now, we just have to lift up everything to Him. I believe one day, this will all end, and my family can be genuinely happy once again.

Two Hearts. One Love. One Family.

I'd like to write today to commemorate the 28 years of solid love between my parents. It also signifies 28 years of my existence on this planet.
The love story of my folks is quite ordinary. But how they made it through the years despite marrying at an early age of 18 makes them an exceptional couple. My Mom and Dad are each one's first love, thus they live up to the motto "First Love Never Dies". Not all childhood sweethearts who fall in love, got pregnant, and married despite being young, survives marriage.
We can all fall in love and marry at any age, but how to survive being married is a challenge for both husband and wife. And the challenge grows larger with the presence of children, the fruits of their love. So for a family to stay together as one unit, it will be up to the parents how they keep their family bonded.
I have seen my family go through trials and triumphs. We have gone through a lot of trials in our life as a family. The most challenging of which was when we had to give up the only source of income we had before, losing our cars, and even our house . We left and lost everything in Gensan. So we had to live with my grandparents in Davao. Me and my brother studied there for a year. I can vividly remember that I only had enough "baon" for a piece of bread which was far different from when I used to study at Notre Dame, I had 15.00 for baon.
When we came back to Gensan, my parents let me study again in Notre Dame because they did not want to sacrifice my education. They had to ask help from my grandparents because they could not afford my tuition anymore. But it was not long, my parents found a way so they could pay our school's tuition. They ran a "karinderya" in front of the YBL terminal. From a top class auto repair shop to a simple karinderya that is. From having a 4x4 land cruiser and a car to a 2 wheeled motorcycle. "Pero hatid sundo pa rin ako".
During that young age, I was in grade 5 back then, I admit it I was quite ashamed with our status that time. It was hard for us kids because we had to adjust from having everything we wanted, to having ONLY what we needed. I could not imagine right now that it was way more difficult for them. But my parents were not embarrassed about this shift, as long as it sustained us. As long as we had shelter, food, and education. As long as we remained as one happy family. They taught us how to adjust to our situation. "Tiis lang muna tayo" is what they used to tell us. And we have learned a lot about life because of that.
They kept reminding us that it won't be long and that they will do everything just to recover what we lost way back . "Family gud!" was our motto, and is still our motto up to now. They never gave up because they do not want to have a broken family. They did everything just to bring us back to our feet again. They held on to each other, they held on to their vows to one another, they held on because of LOVE.
I do not know how my folks did it. But I love them so much for not giving up amidst the ups and downs of life. This became my foundation. And I will raise my own family just the way Papa and Mama did. Happy Anniversary Pa, Ma!